We are in Uniondale, New York and your announcers are Michael Cole, Booker T, and John Layfield.
We start off with the Authority, featuring Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Seth Rollins, Kane, Joey Mercury, and Jamie Noble, making their way to the ring.
We see what happened last week on Raw when Dean got his match against Seth Rollins at The Elimination Chamber thanks to the return of the cinder blocks of doom.
Seth starts off the talking and says before we start off the festivities, he wants everyone to give Dean Ambrose a round of applause. Last week, Dean acted like nothing more than a common thug. He extorted and intimidated his way to get what he wanted, a shot at the WWE Championship.
Seth responds to the ‘You Sold Out’ Chants by saying this is not about him. He says that Dean is a hero and role model to everyone in the WWE Universe. Seth says the Authority made the decision under duress and that is not how they operate because that is not best for business.
Seth reminds Stephanie that she said Dean did not earn a title shot and he does not deserve a title shot. Seth says that they could take the title shot from him right now. Seth says that is the truth. Seth suggests that Dean could be fired right now. Seth says that Hunter considered it before Seth told him not to.
Seth says that he is a benevolent human being. Dean is not really a threat to him. He is not on his level and never was. Dean was riding his coattails the entire time in the Shield. There is a reason why you selected him to be in the Authority.
Hunter says that while they have a verbal agreement with Dean Ambrose, they will need something more concrete. Hunter tells Dean if he would like to receive his WWE Title match against Seth Rollins at the Elimination Chamber is come down right now to sign the contract.
Dean Ambrose’s music plays and he makes his way to the stage. Dean says there might be something wrong with him. Dean says he has been having trouble sleeping at night and instead of counting sheep, he counts punching Seth in the face. By the time he gets to 200, he is sleeping like a baby. He says beating up Seth Rollins makes him happy. Dean says that since he had so much fun in the past beating up Seth, he wanted the next time to be for the WWE Title.
Dean says that he hoped the WWE Universe appreciated it as much as him. On Sunday, their golden boy gets replaced by someone you call a lunatic, but everyone else will call the New Face of the WWE. Dean says that when that happens, he wants to make some changes.
Dean says that J&J Security will go barefoot, just like the Hobbits they are. Kane will wear a collar since he is the obedient lap dog. He says that Seth can drunk dial Selena Gomez since he is everyone’s Little Justin Bieber.
Seth says that the people called him a sell out for so long and now they call him Justin Bieber and it should anger him? Justin is rich and famous. Maybe it is because Justin is the most successful artist of his generation. Maybe Dean Ambrose wishes he could be Seth Rollins.
Seth calls Dean a cockroach. They are good at surviving, but they never thrive. They never win. You are destined to be a loser your entire life. You just want to be Seth Rollins. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise because he is sick of chasing Dean away from the WWE. If you are man enough to come to the ring and sign on the dotted line, he will wipe your face off his boots for the last time at Elimination Chamber.
Dean says he would rather be a cockroach than the wrong side of the Authority’s Human Centipede.
Dean makes his way to the ring and he circles it and he stands by the announce table, maybe near where he used to come to the ring when he was in the Shield.
Roman Reigns’ music plays and he comes to the ring to play security for Dean.
Stephanie says it seems like you Shield boys are always together. Stephanie tells Dean he has until the end of the show to sign the contract. Stephanie makes a main event for later tonight with Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns versus Seth Rollins and Kane.
However, we are going crazy because this main event is going to happen now.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: Kane and Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) versus Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose
Kane and Ambrose start things off and Kane with uppercuts and he sends Ambrose into the turnbuckles. Kane with punches and he sends Ambrose into the turnbuckles. Ambrose with chops and punches to Kane against the ropes. Ambrose with a drop kick to Kane against the ropes followed by a cross body and punches. Dean with a snap elbow drop and then he stomps on the chest and walks over Kane.
Reigns tags in and he punches Kane and sends him into the turnbuckles. Kane is sent into the turnbuckles again. Kane with punches to Reigns and Reigns with a kick. Reigns punches Kane a few times but Kane with a kick to Reigns. Kane tries for a suplex but Reigns blocks it and Reigns with a suplex of his own. Ambrose tags back in and he goes up top and hits an elbow to the arm. Ambrose with a wrist lock and Kane rakes the eyes.
Rollins tags in and he punches Ambrose and drops him on the top rope. Rollins with a front face lock and suplex for a near fall. Rollins works on the neck. Ambrose with a kick and Reigns tags in and they hit a double clothesline. Reigns with a side head lock take down. Reigns with a shoulder tackle and he catches Rollins on a leap frog attempt and Reigns with a Samoan Drop.
Reigns is sent to the apron and he drops Rollins on the top rope. Mercury and Noble distract Reigns from hitting the Juggernaut Broad Jump drop kick and Rollins kicks Reigns into the ringside barrier. Reigns is sent back into the ring and Rollins gets a near fall. Rollins with a reverse chin lock.
Reigns with a forearm to the back of Rollins’ head and he tags in Ambrose. Dean with a running body block and he punches Rollins and he punches and kicks Rollins. Ambrose with an Irish whip followed by a forearm and bulldog. Ambrose clotheslines Rollins over the top rope and then he hits a suicide dive onto Rollins. Kane misses a clothesline and Reigns punches Kane.
Ambrose and Reigns go into the ring and we go to commercial.
We are back and Rollins punches Ambrose but Ambrose with a forearm but Rollins with a Slingblade for a near fall. We see footage from the commercial on the WWE app when Rollins hit a hesitation drop kick while Ambrose was in the Tree of Woe. Rollins with a clothesline. Ambrose is able to get away from Rollins and he tags in Reigns. Kane tags in as well.
Reigns with a clothesline followed by a boot when Kane Irish whips him. Reigns with a clothesline off the turnbuckles and he hits a running clothesline in the corner followed by more short clotheslines and kicks. Reigns knocks Mercury off the apron and then he hits Noble with a Superman punch. Kane with a boot to Reigns and he sets for a choke slam on Reigns.
Kane tries for a choke slam but Reigns with elbows. Kane with an uppercut and Reigns falls to the ropes and Ambrose tags in. Reigns with a Superman punch and Kane gets up so Ambrose with an elbow off the turnbuckles for a near fall. Rollins tags in and hits the springboard knee to the head and he gets a near fall.
Rollins with an enzuigiri and Ambrose tries to rebound off the ropes but Rollins moves. Ambrose with a backslide for the three count.
Winners: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns
Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Seth Rollins, Kane, Joey Mercury, and Jamie Noble make their way to the ring.
Seth says what you just saw doesn’t matter. The fact of the situation is that Dean Ambrose physically assaulted a cameraman and he was justifiably arrested earlier tonight. Seth says Dean is nothing more than a common thug who takes pride in his lunatic fringe nickname. Recklessness can only get you so far. It almost got him a shot at his title last week. This week, he is behind bars.
Stephanie says that workers behind the scenes deserve respect for their hard work. Stephanie points out that the cameraman Dean hit is the father of newborn triplets. We cannot handle such hazardous situations for our employees. They are here to foster a nurturing environment. Stephanie says that since this is an ongoing investigation, they cannot comment.
Hunter says that they were going to give Dean the opportunity to fight Seth Rollins at Elimination Chamber, but all he had to do is sign the contract. That unstable mental state came back to bite him, but that did not happen.
Hunter is going to announce . . .
Roman Reigns makes his way to the ring and he goes after Seth Rollins but Joey and Jamie pull Roman off. Kane goes after Reigns and it is a four on one attack. Kane blocks a Superman punch and choke slams Reigns.
Seth holds the contract in front of Roman and has something to say to him.
The police van pulls into the arena and Dean is at the wheel. Ambrose makes his way to the ring and he has a nightstick. Dean takes care of Mercury, Noble, and Kane. Rollins takes Dean down. Kane tries for a choke slam but Dean hits the ropes and clotheslines Kane. Rollins grabs the nightstick but Reigns and Ambrose hit Rollins with it.
Noble, Mercury, and Kane work over Ambrose and Reigns, but Reigns with an uppercut to Kane and a spear to Mercury and Noble. Reigns is sent to the floor and he hits Kane with a Superman Punch. Dean with a double underhook DDT to Kane.
Reigns gives Dean the contract and he signs it before Hunter and Stephanie do what JBL suggested and tells them to go off the air.
We go to credits.